Post 20th Birthday Thoughts

During the week leading up to my birthday, I thinking about what I would do and learn during my 20s. I came up with a little theoretical model on life.

When you're a kid you say the darndest things. You play pretend. You say I want this or I want to be that without much thought. When you're a kid you learn to dream.

When you're a teenager you pretty much go through trial and error. You take the time to actually think. You'll think about this and then try that. When you're a teenager you learn how to get something done and what needs to get done.

Looking back at what I've lived through I can only make this assumption about not being a teenager anymore and now becoming an adult:
When you're an adult you know what needs to get done and how to get it done. Its now up to you whether or not you have the audacity to make those dreams you had as a kid come true.
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On the morning of my birthday, I shared with my mom my little theory and she said it was pretty much true. We talked a bit and she was just reminded of how I was growing up. She actually started to cry, having thought about the times that she couldn't give me what I wanted at times since we were financially struggling or some other unfortunate circumstances.

I assured her that while she couldn't always give me what I wanted, she always provided what I needed. However, I still felt a little guilty for getting older.
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Also sn the day of my birthday, my grandmother came back from her morning walk. She walked in with a smile on her face and told me about how she was walking and thought about what a beautiful day it was and how she was thanking God for the day. She apparently passed by someone she described as a "big black lady" and instead of saying "hello" she said "Praise the Lord!" To my surprise, my grandmother said that the "big black lady" smiled back and replied:

"I was thinking the exact same thing!"

wow.
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As for my excursion in New York City, I think that productive would probably be the best way to describe. I look at it as somewhat ironic: each birthday I've witnessed usually involves people "surprising" the birthday celebrant but in the case of mine I ended up being the one catching everyone off guard. I didn't really tell anyone that I was coming into the city since it kinda was a last minute decision and I wanted to ease my way back into seeing people (due to personal reasons). I decided to take some personal time in the city first, having gone to Shake Shack and the Met on my own (both of which I had never done before). Some people caught on to my presence in the city but my idea of the diffusion of information didn't work out as I thought it would. I tried my best to see what people I could but I was very surprised by how people still kept themselves so busy in New York City during the summer and still failed to see each other. So, in a way, my time there, though nice, left me somewhat unsatisfied, as if the trip were incomplete. It seems that nowadays that there's a cost for everything you do -- doing one thing ultimately results in sacrificing your oppurtunity for accomplishing something else. I'm trying not to think that way though. I don't know if that's the right thing to do.

Thanks for tuning in,

DP